"Don't Mom, don't take my picture today, I'm having a bad fur day. I can't get my furs to lay right. I look awful, just awful! Even formerly feral kitties can be vain about their looks"
"Listen sister, you think you have it bad, I heard Mommy talking about me going to the V.E.T.! She's given up trying to get my mats out with the Furminator and she says it really is time for the POODLE-BUTT cut! I HATE that, but I hate getting brushed even more. It's a real dilemma for me! I'm just going to sit here and give her the back of disrespect!"
"Sob, I just hope they leave the floofiest tail in the western hemisphere alone!"