Parker's Memorial - One Month

Note from the 'rents...
My better half thought that we needed a memorial for Parker to sit next to the one that we have for Payton. I am a lucky woman to have such a sweet and thoughtful husband. Now we can look out our window and think of both of much-loved, much missed girls.
I found a poem that did a good job on saying how I felt the day we lost Parker.
It was a month ago today. The pain is still sharp and deep. But there are smiles in some memories of her. Parker Pie was such a great kitty.

The Greatest Gift

I always knew this time would come,

From the very instant our eyes first met.

How I loved you then! How I love you now!

I made a promise then, and I will keep that promise now...

You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;

You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.

It is for me alone to make this decision,

The price for the bright joy and pure laughter

You brought me during the time we shared.

I am the only one who can decide when it is time.

When my hope dies, and my fear rides high,

Just when I need you most, I must let you go.

It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready

For without your guidance, I will not know

When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger

My sorrow and my selfish heart aside

and give you this last gift, this greatest gift.

You eyes will speak to mine and I will know.

The pain of this moment is excruciating.  

Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow. 

And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.

For you have spoken and I have listened, 

and unlike other decisions I have made

This one brings no relief...no comfort...no peace.

For if there's one thing you've taught me

If there's only one thing I've learned....

Unconditional love has a condition after all,

I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me

I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone

And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

Go easily now, go quickly now,

Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.

Go find your strength, go find your youth

Go find the ones who have gone before you

You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar

Rest easy now; your pain will soon be gone.

I pray I will find comfort in my memories...

in the dark and lonely days ahead.

I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.

For only my tears can heal my broken heart.

But I promise you this; as long as I live, 

You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.

So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,

And this will be my greatest gift...sending you away.

It is the measure of my unconditional love....

For only the greatest love can say

"Goodbye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,

Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."

By Karla Bertram

11/23/96

Whisker Hump Wednesday

Back in the 80's no kitty had greater whisker humps than Mommy's beloved T-Gray! She still misses him and knows that he's waiting for her at the bridge, whisker humps and all!

Little Stories From The Past

As an adult, Mommy has always had kitties close by. This very old photo is of Mommy and her best friend T-Gray back in 1981. There was a room full of people playing cards that night, but T-Gray always wanted to be where Mommy was. He was a very outgoing cat. Mommy says that if he had thumbs, he would have probably wanted to join in on the game!

Little Stories From The Past - 1998

When Puff and Powder were newly "gotcha'ed", they lived with Mommy and Daddy and a woofie named Jordan. I never met Jordan, but Puff and Powder and Rudy tell me that he was a great woofie. He loved kitties and he used to let Puff and Powder take naps on him. Jordan even gave them baths when they were youngsters.
This photo always makes the 'rents smile. It was taken shortly after Mommy and Daddy were married. The big chew-bone was a wedding gift to Jordan from Mommy. As you can see, he really liked it! Jordan went to the Bridge way too soon. You can read a little about him here.

ps - Daddy washed his mouth out real good after this photo was taken!

Little Stories From The Past

This is a very VERY old photo of Mommy and the kitty who started it all. I have told you about T-Gray before. You can read his whole story in two parts, here and here.

Mommy was still in undergraduate school living with her roomates in this picture. She and T-Gray were still getting to know each other as he had only been with her for a few days, yet Mommy was smitten with that kitten! Later in the evening on the very day this photo was taken, Mommy learned the importance of having a screen for the fireplace because curious kittens love to walk into the fireplace in the middle if the night after the fire has died. Then they like to walk all over the house with ashy paws.

T-Gray learned that same night that he did not enjoy baths...

Mommy learned that kitten claws are very sharp and so are little kitten teeth!

They both learned that love is really all you need.

Photo Hunt - In Memory

Our Ones Who Came Before.

Payton, 1998-2001
Payton left Mommy and Daddy too soon. She had a sick heart. Payton was found by Mommy and Daddy outside a restaurant begging for food from anyone who would walk in or out of the door. She had no fear and was a very large personality. When she was introduced to Puff and Powder it was as if they had been siblings all along. She was a Daddy's girl just like me and Daddy says that I was sent to him by Payton to help heal his heart. Thank-you Payton, I owe you an awful lot. I hope that some day far in the future you and I can play together at the Bridge. I think we would get along pretty well!

T-Gray 1977-1997

Mommy's first cat. To this day she still gets leaky over him leaving for the Bridge. Please read about this wonderful boy here (part one) and here (part two). He's the reason we are all here today. Mommy says that if and when she goes to heaven, T-Gray and his love eyes will probably be the first thing she sees.

Jordan 1997-2002
Then there was dear, sweet Jordan. I am the only kitty who never met Jordan. I am told that he was a very, very good boy. He loved Puff and Powder and Rudy, he even got to see Rudy get borned! Jordan also left the family much too soon after he got Lymphoma. Jordan was only 5 years old. Daddy says that Jordan never had a bad day. He was the happiest creature on earth. He is dearly missed and he is the reason that Diamond came into our lives.

I send all of my love to the Ones Who Came Before. They paved the way for me to have a loving and happy home. We owe them a debt of gratitude.

Photo Hunters - Family

This is an old photo of our Woofie Jordan and Powder. Jordan was a wonderful boy. I never had the pleasure of meeting him. Mommy and Daddy lost him to Lymphoma at the young age of five. He was a very handsome and happy Golden Retriever. Daddy said he was always in a good mood and never had a bad day. Powder loved him a lot! What a good boy!

Remembering The Ones Who Came Before

Dear Payton,

I never got to meet you, but I have heard a lot about you and I know that you are the reason I have a home today. So... I owe you a lot. Mommy and Daddy are having sad feelings today, a few leaky eyes, but they are laughing too. They like telling stories about you. Seven years ago today, you suddenly left for the Bridge. I thought I'd let everyone see what a beautiful girl you were. I know that someday we will meet at the Bridge - we can compare notes about Mommy and Daddy and I can see for myself why they always say that I remind them of you so very much. You must have been a very wonderful cat.
So today my angel sister, I honor you.
Love,
Perfectly Parker

Payton as a teen, 1998

You got to go outside. You really enjoyed it too!

Mommy and Daddy said you were a most beautiful cat.


Payton-Pie

February , 1998 - June 07, 2001

You can read more about Payton here.
Payton's memorial in our back yard

Wayback Wednesday - T-Gray 1977-1997 Part 2

If you haven't read Part 1 go here. When we left Mommy last week she was preparing for the Great Halloween Party of 1977. It was a costume party and she and her roomies had invited about a squillion people over for the night. Everything was ready. They had plenty of food (they called it "munchies" back then), plenty of music and a keg - hey it was her college years, lighten up! Anyway, people started arriving and a good time was underway. One of her friends from home decided to give Mommy a big surprise. He drove 175 miles dressed as Little Red Riding Hood. He even brought a basket of goodies! He rang the doorbell and when Mommy answered he handed her the basket and said "I have a little surprise for you." Mommy opened the basket and there he was. A little bitty ball of fur curled up fast asleep in a picnic basket complete with a red gingham blankie! It was one of Mew's kittens! He looked up from his nap and meowed at Mommy. That was it. Mommy was in love. Her friend had thought of everything! He brought a litter box, kitten food and some little bowls. The only thing the little kitten lacked was a name. Mew's son spent his first night as Mommy's boy safe and sound in her bedroom. He made himself right at home and was a perfect cat right from the start. He went without a name for a few days. After seeing what a handsome gray Tabby he was and how he played like a little Tiger, Mommy decided on T-Gray. It fit. T-Gray and Mommy were the very best of friends. Everywhere Mommy went during her younger years, T-Gray came along. They lived in many places (7) and states (3). T-Gray flew in airplanes and rode in cars. He never complained. As long as he was where Mommy was, that was home. He would wait for Mommy to return each evening from hunting and would greet her at the door. He had what Mommy called a "come what may" attitude. He slept next to her head, sat on her lap and was a wonderful companion for a young single gal. He was a great pal to the still young married Mommy, he was a comfort to the sad, divorced Mommy. He was a confidant that Mommy could share all of her hopes and dreams with. T-Gray never judged or never criticized, he was pure love covered in fur. T-Gray came from healthy stock and only had one bout of illness. He had crystals in his urine and had to have surgery to get that fixed. It never was an issue again. T-Gray had a lot of human friends who loved to visit him. If Mommy had to travel, her friends would fight over who got to stay with T-Gray while she was gone. T-Gray seemed to bring out the "happy" in everyone who met him. Even beans who claimed to not like kitties thought T-Gray was cool. Mommy was 19 when T-Gray came into her life. Mommy was 39 when he crossed to the Bridge. Mommy doesn't talk too much about that day. All she told us was that he told her when it was time. She took him to the vet 'cause he was sleeping more than usual and wasn't interested in his food. He had also started to drool a little bit. The vet thought it could be a tumor near his throat, but said that T-Gray was too old and frail for surgery. He said to take him home and keep him as comfy as possible. He told Mommy that T-Gray would either pass on gently in his sleep or he would let Mommy know that it was time. Mommy worked 1/2 days for almost a week so she could keep a close eye on T-Gray. One afternoon when T-Gray tried to get up from his bed, he could not walk. He looked at Mommy very peacefully and gave her his "love eyes." He was telling her it was time. Mommy told him that it was OK and she promised him that she would be there and help him cross to the Bridge. And she did. She was the last thing T-Gray saw, she was the last thing T-Gray heard and felt. He went to the Bridge knowing how dearly he was loved. Because Mommy says that's what best friends do. She also tells us that T-Gray is the reason we have her love today. T-Gray taught her how to do that. And that is why we have nothing but love and respect for Ones Who Came Before. They teach our humans all about love and compassion so that when we come along their hearts are open to sharing that love and compassion with us.
I hope you have enjoyed T-Gray's story. I am thinking about telling you about another One Who Came Before sometime during this holiday season.