Parker's Memorial - One Month

Note from the 'rents...
My better half thought that we needed a memorial for Parker to sit next to the one that we have for Payton. I am a lucky woman to have such a sweet and thoughtful husband. Now we can look out our window and think of both of much-loved, much missed girls.
I found a poem that did a good job on saying how I felt the day we lost Parker.
It was a month ago today. The pain is still sharp and deep. But there are smiles in some memories of her. Parker Pie was such a great kitty.

The Greatest Gift

I always knew this time would come,

From the very instant our eyes first met.

How I loved you then! How I love you now!

I made a promise then, and I will keep that promise now...

You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;

You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.

It is for me alone to make this decision,

The price for the bright joy and pure laughter

You brought me during the time we shared.

I am the only one who can decide when it is time.

When my hope dies, and my fear rides high,

Just when I need you most, I must let you go.

It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready

For without your guidance, I will not know

When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger

My sorrow and my selfish heart aside

and give you this last gift, this greatest gift.

You eyes will speak to mine and I will know.

The pain of this moment is excruciating.  

Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow. 

And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.

For you have spoken and I have listened, 

and unlike other decisions I have made

This one brings no relief...no comfort...no peace.

For if there's one thing you've taught me

If there's only one thing I've learned....

Unconditional love has a condition after all,

I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me

I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone

And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

Go easily now, go quickly now,

Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.

Go find your strength, go find your youth

Go find the ones who have gone before you

You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar

Rest easy now; your pain will soon be gone.

I pray I will find comfort in my memories...

in the dark and lonely days ahead.

I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.

For only my tears can heal my broken heart.

But I promise you this; as long as I live, 

You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.

So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,

And this will be my greatest gift...sending you away.

It is the measure of my unconditional love....

For only the greatest love can say

"Goodbye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,

Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."

By Karla Bertram

11/23/96

Autumn Rocks!

Dreaming of...

...sweet Springtime. All of the great smells and the warm breeze blowing through the windows. I think Daddy misses his lawnmower too!

Wordless Wednesday - Home Is Where Our Hearts (And Cats) Are

This Friday Is For Remembering The One Who Came Before

Payton with Daddy

Here is something that Mommy and Daddy have had a heavy heart over. Their beloved Payton, One Who Came Before, is buried in Kansas City, at our home. We will have to leave her physical remains in Kansas City. The other Ones Who Came Before are remembered differently, T-Gray has a lock of his hair in Mommys jewelery box, Jordan the woofie has his collar and tags attached to Daddys favorite photo of him. When we leave Kansas City, Payton's physical remains will stay at our old home. She will stay with so many good memories, holidays, milestones, struggles and so much laughter. Mommy and Daddy only had to look near the lilac bush in the yard and see her memorial - there she was. Soon, this won't be the case. Mommy took Payton's passing particularly hard. No one knew why she died, she passed while Mommy and Daddy were out to dinner. They came home and she was gone. The vet said heart trouble. She was barely 3 years old. Daddy buried Payton while Mommy was in mourning, neither one of them were thinking clearly enough to "save" something of her. There is no lock of fur, not many photos, just wonderful memories of her being the opinionated, mouthy kitty that she was. Mommy and Daddy have felt so bad about leaving her, they have struggled about taking her memorial with us to O Hi O and placing it by the lilac bush in our new yard. Today Mommy found a poem she had saved on her computer a long time ago and took it as a sign that Payton will be OK with us taking her memorial to O Hi O. The decision has now been made, the memorial comes with the family and will go by the O Hi O lilac bush. Payton always lives in Mommy and Daddies heart. The poem was written a long time ago, but still holds true today. Here it is, for those of you who have lost beloved family members, may it bring you peace like it finally has to my Mommy and Daddy.

Where to Bury A Cat
There are various places within which a cat may be buried. We are thinking now of a tabby cat, a striped cat, whose coat was like watered silk, and who, so far as we are aware, never entertained a mean or an unworthy thought. This cat is buried beneath a cherry tree, under four feet of garden loam, and at its proper season the cherry strews petals on the green lawn of his grave. Beneath a cherry tree, or an apple, or any flowering shrub of the garden, is an excellent place to bury a good cat. For beneath such trees, such shrubs, he slept in the drowsy summer, or chased bees, or lifted head to challenge some winged intruder. These are good places, in life or in death.
For if the cat be well remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, questing, asking, laughing, begging, it matters not at all where that cat sleeps at long and at last. On a hill where the wind is unrebuked and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in kittenhood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pasture land, where the most exhilarating moles burrow. It is all one to the cat, and all one to you, and nothing is gained, and nothing lost -- if memory lives. But there is one best place to bury a cat. One place that is best of all.
If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have guessed, he will come to you when you call -- come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path, and to your side again. And though you call a dozen living cats, they shall not hiss at him, nor resent his coming, for he is yours and he belongs there.
People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no mew pitched too fine for mere audition, people who may never really have had a cat. Smile at them then, for you shall know something that is hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing.
The one best place to bury a good cat is in the heart of his owner.
by Ben Hur Lampman, Portland Oregonian, 1921

We will always love you Payton-Pie. Come on with us and stay in our hearts!

~We're all great here, just very, very busy with planning the move! Hope you kitties have a super weekend. Mommy is in cuddle mode and we're loving it!

Thursday 13 Edition 4 - My Daddy

Daddy and Payton - "One Who Came Before"

Since Daddy's birthday was yesterday and I have already shared a lot about Mommy, I think today would be a wonderful day to tell you about the human that makes my heart go pitter-patter, my Daddy! He's a wonderful guy that saw I had potential when he spied me in an alley, all feral and skinny and unwed and a mother! He's pictured above with Payton, a kitty who came before. She too, came from very humble beginnings. He still misses her. He also says that I remind him of her. So, here's 13 things about my Daddy -

• He loves all animals, he always thought he was a "dog" person, then he met Mommy.
• Mommy says he has the most compassionate heart of any man she has ever known.
• He is originally from Illinois and is a HUGE Chicago sports fan. This can cause "discussions" in our home since Mommy is from Detroit.
• He gets told that he looks like Eric Clapton. A Lot.
• He says he is meticulous. Mommy says it's more like O.C.D.
• He HATES to fly.
• He loves to keep our lawn pretty and he is a good gardener.
• He gives me extra treats and food off of his plate when Mommy isn't looking.
• He asked Mommy to marry him twice, once on the phone when she was on business and once in the laundry room during a party.
• He makes the best potato chip dip in the world!
• He is very musical and artistic.
• He knows how to make Mommy laugh when no one else can.
• He taught me what love and safe and happy and home means.

Bonus "thing" - If one of us yaks, it almost makes him yak too, Ha-Ha!